Father's Day sayings Father's Day sayings 2015

Funny Father's Day Quotes
  • “I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet” - Rodney Dangerfield
  • "Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected." - Red Buttons
  • "The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf." - Bertrand Russell
Father's Day sayings 2013

  • “Come mothers and fathers Throughout the land, And don't criticize What you can't understand” - Bob Dylan
  • "If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right." - Bill Cosby
Funny Father's Day Jokes
  • "My Dad thinks he wears the trousers in our house, but it's always Mum who tells him which pair to put on!"
  • "Do fathers always snore? No - only when they are asleep!"
  • "In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success. Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4 -car garage. And that's just the vacation home."
• "Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did." -- Anonymous

• "A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again." -- Enid Bagnold
• "If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right." -- Bill Cosby• "A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station." -- Bill Cosby• "Be kind to thy father, for when thou wert young, Who loved thee so fondly as he? He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue, And joined in thy innocent glee." -- Margaret Courtney

• "I talk and talk and talk, and I haven't taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week." -- Mario Cuomo
• "I watched a small man with thick calluses on both hands work fifteen and sixteen hours a day. I saw him once literally bleed from the bottoms of his feet, a man who came here uneducated, alone, unable to speak the language, who taught me all I needed to know about faith and hard work by the simple eloquence of his example." -- Mario Cuomo 

• "My father said, 'Politics asks the question: Is it expedient? Vanity asks: Is it popular? But conscience asks: Is it right?'" -- Dexter Scott King• "His mother called such people ignorant and superstitious, but his father only shook his head slowly and puffed his pipe and said that sometimes old stories had a grain or two of truth in them and it was best not to take chances. It was why, he said, he crossed himself whenever a black cat crossed his path." -- Stephen King

• "When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.'" -- Jerry Lewis

• "I don't know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be." -- Abraham Lincoln

• "Honor thy father and thy mother." -- Matthew 19:19
• "The thing to remember about fathers is, they're men. A girl has to keep it in mind: They are dragon seekers, bent on improbable rescues. Scratch any father, you find Someone chock full of qualms and romantic terrors, Believing change is a threat Like your first shoes with heels on, like your first bicycle It took such months to get." -- Phyllis McGinley

• "My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it." -- Abraham Lincoln

• "Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother." -- Friedrich Nietzche

• "Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards." -- Robert Orben

• "People see Archie Bunker everywhere. Particularly girls; poor girls, rich girls, all kinds of girls are always coming up to me and telling me that Archie is just like their dad." -- Carroll O'Connor
• "A wise son maketh a glad father." -- Proverbs 10:1

• "None of you can ever be proud enough of being the child of such a Father who has not his equal in this world - so great, so good, so faultless. Try, all of you, to follow in his footsteps and don't be discouraged, for to be really in everything like him none of you, I am sure, will ever be. Try, therefore, to be like him in some points, and you will have acquired a great deal." -- Queen Victoria of England

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